Answered Prayer

Have you ever worried about something for so long and then when you finally give it all to the Lord, it just seems like you couldn't even see that the problem was gone and you were still stressing over it. My Callee girl has had a rough couple months. She went from being physically sick to having weird dreams. She was even thinking she was hearing voices. And maybe she was but here I was thinking the worst. I was thinking oh my she has some psychotic problems .Who am I to say who and what she heard. My mom reminded me of the story of Samuel in the Bible. I'm not saying it was the Lord but she is growing and changing everyday. Yes she is only five and that is very young, but maybe she is reaching the age of accountability? She is more aware of death now than ever before. Now at night time she wants to pray a lot. Not just once like normal but its like she can't stop, she can't get it all out. It's so humbling to hear a child with that faith. Her prayer today went like this...

Please Lord watch over me tonight. Please Lord take care of me tomorrow. I know you will. You always have. I love you Jesus. And thank you for making me your special project.

Then she insisted that she sleep holding her Bible close to her.

She may not be all better, the voices could come back tomorrow. But for now they are gone and I thank God for that. She is acting like her old self again. I'm so blessed to be her mother. So I ask you when you pray say a prayer for her. That she may continue to improve and one day she will accept the Lord as her Savior. And that goes for Gracie and Hynlee too!

My Angel...My Love...My World!

Well, last night Derick and I watched Ladder 49. He had been begging me for weeks to watch it with him. Amanda had warned me not to, but last night I caved and did. Now I wish I would have listened. Derick is very close, we pray to getting on with the fire department. And now all I can do is worry. I know if he went back to Atlanta today he could get hurt there or be in a wreck or get cut again. But now I'm not so sure about the fire thing. I was awake all last night weighing the cons and pros in my head.
*Like this is his dream

*he would LOVE getting up and going to work

*he would have a lot more off days and at home with us

*BUT I don't think I need to state the most obvious con!

*Plus the money is half of what he is use to.

I know he would love it and I'm being 100% selfish. I know! I understand it. But last night I cried my self to sleep on his chest. I know me. I know I could never function without him. We have our problems but at the end of the day he is my best friend, the love of my life, the father of my babies.

As I laid there last night and imagined all the terrible things that could happen it made me realize two very important things

First. I love Derick more than life itself. I put all my trust in him. I depend 100% on him each day. I believe, no I know I need to take and put that much trust in the Lord. That no matter if Derick gets this job or another, that he will be there taking care of him. That I learn to depend on the Lord more. My faith is weak. I want to get to where I need to be.

Second. How much time we spend arguing about the little things. So many times I let little crazy things blow up into huge crazy things. I let my ocd control me and then I get ill about the house or this or that and then it comes between Derick and me. I make this promise to myself. That from right now I'm going to enjoy this life I have been given. I'm going to laugh and love. I'm going to just love being his wife. That's all I wanted years ago and now I take it for granted. I have been blessed with the most loving sweet husband who has helped create the most precious girls and I want to never forget how blessed I truly am!

One more angel in Heaven

One week ago today Heaven got a little bigger. Derick's cousin, Morgan lost her baby boy, Zaidyn Jayce. He was only 3 months old.

We got a call early that morning that he had quit breathing. I never thought this, something so final. I guess I was thinking he was choked or something. Derick went to their house to check on them. I stayed home because I had been sick all morning. He had been gone for a while and I called. Derick talked a minute and then said he would see me in a few minutes. Never in his voice did he give it away. I assumed all was fine. Then he came home with the news. I only thought I felt sick that morning. No sooner than he said the words I ran to the bathroom. I'm the type of person who DOES NOT handle death well. No matter if it's a close relative, stranger, pet. I can't wrap my mind around it.

My heart hurt so bad. That baby was gone. What was Morgan thinking, how was Sandy, and what about Aunt Jimmie? I knew what I felt at that moment and I couldn't imagine being in their shoes. I know you aren't supposed to ask why? But in a way you can't help it. He was so young.

The funeral was heart breaking. There are no words to describe a baby's funeral. That was my first and I hope and pray that I never have to sit through that again.

Then there was telling the girls. Of course with Papa the girls knew older people pass away. But I never wanted to have to tell them that could happen to a baby. They took it a lot better than what I thought. I still don't think they understand it all.

But the main reason I wanted to post this was because of the money issue. Zaidyn like many children had no life insurance. The funeral home was so very gracious enough to offer their complete services free. All they wanted was the restocking fee of the casket which was $150.00.

But the burial was the problem. It was going to cost $1400.00 to bury that precious baby.

As I sat there and thought about this situation. I wanted to help anyway I could. I watched Morgan and Sandy and couldn't even speak a word. My heart was broken for them and it seemed as if my mouth was sealed shut. I would think about what to say to them but as soon as I got around them, I froze.

What could I say?

I don't know what they are going through!

It was then that night that I talked with Derick and said we have to do something to help. Derick went the next day and started a fund at Suntrust in Zaidyn's name. We wanted to help but wasn't sure what we could accomplish. Derick also went to the funeral home and talked with them. It was then that they gave us a total on what they thought we would need to have his services.

Then we prayed. It's sad to say that it took this for me to pray that hard. But I never remember praying for something so hard and long. It's almost like I prayed constantly Thursday and Friday. We had the account but people couldn't deposit anything until Friday morning. So we thought we would have all day Friday and Saturday to raise the money. Late Thursday we got the call that all money had to paid by 1:00 Friday.

How were we going to do this? Well all I can say is we didn't! The Lord really worked some miracles! At 8:00 Friday morning we had $85! We called everyone we could think of and then they called people they knew and the chain started rolling. I'm not sure who gave and where the money came from. But the Lord knows! By 1:00 that day we were able to give the family $1130 of the $1400 needed.

When also found out that someone had paid for the funeral home's small fee. But the people weren't done giving yet. The account kept getting deposits all weekend and still is. We were able to get over $3200 for the family. So I want to thank you if you gave money, or cooked food for the funeral, or just prayed a prayer. I hope I never have to face a situation like this, but I'm so glad and thankful that we still have so many loving, caring, helpful people out there!

Life's many blessings

Wow so much has happen since my last post. I often think..oh my blog I need to update that thing and I sit down and either one of two things happen. I start checking my mail or facebook OR one the girls either are begging me to let them play on Disney.com or Hynlee is pushing me out of the chair because she wants to sit here. So when I do have time to actually sit and start working on it I hardly ever get anything accomplished.

Let's see with my girls what's new?

Hynlee turned 18 months old today! I know I can't believe it. I still feel like she is it. She completes our family so my last baby is now approaching 2!! She can pee and poop in the potty. She loves M&Ms and will just about do anything for some! She is growing out of the biting stage, but has started pinching!! She still so little and skinny. She barely weighs 21lbs. But she makes up for her size in her attitude!

Callee, well is just being Callee. Still running, climbing, wild as always. She still worries me though. She has started complaining of hearing things. Like she will come through the house and want to know what we want because she thought she heard us calling her. At times she says the voices are making fun of her. This scares me for two reasons. One just because its weird. And two because she is my little girl. If someone was being mean or hurting her I can stop that. But if it's inside her head? How do I stop that? I feel totally helpless. I took her to her doctor and he wants her to be seen by another Dr. We are still waiting on that appointment. Just please say a prayer for her, that it will turn out to be nothing more than her WILD, NEVER-ENDING imagination! She will be starting Kindergarten in just a few weeks.

And Grace. Grace is the most kind, giving child ever. She always just wants to help. But lately this child has turned into a couch potato. I promise it's driving me crazy. She runs to the TV first thing in the morning before her sisters get up. She gets mad if you turn it while she goes in another room. And has even started hiding the remote. We have tried setting limits and that didn't work. Now I have to say she knows exactly which shows we allow and which ones we don't approve of. Even we aren't in the room and one starts coming on I can hear her turning it. But we have really consider turning off our cable. There are so much more to life than that crazy thing. We Derick and I first married we didn't have TV. And I thought we were missing out. Man was I wrong. I think about the family nights, and outdoor activities or just cuddling together we could be doing.

And lastly Derick. He has almost(fingers-crossed) got the job, we pray. He has always wanted to go back to firefighting. This has taken months of work and test and preparations but here goes the main things

Taken the first test...passed

Application.....approved

Fitness test....passed with flying colors

Last interview....next week
So please remember him also when you pray.

I feel sometimes like we have the craziest hectic life ever. But you know what.....maybe we do ....maybe we don't. But I wouldn't trade it for anything in this world. I have been blessed more than I deserve.