I thought I was handling Hynlee's diagnosis well. I'm more educated now than I was three weeks ago. I have held it together, and for me that's huge. I may tend to overreact?? But, now looking back I was in a fog. OK she has diabetes, it could be worse. That is what I have said for the last few weeks. She is still Hynlee. And then the fog let up. It was all clear for the first time in weeks.
She has DIABETES. She now takes insulin THREE times EVERY day. It's NOT going away. There is NO cure.
We have been told by every doctor, nurse, everyone that we caught this VERY early. My pediatrician said, "Mindy, be proud. You were on this. You didn't let the signs go unnoticed." Everyone estimated that she was still honeymooning, which means her body is still producing enough insulin to bring it down on her on. They said she could stay like this from 3-6 months, possibly even a year. At the earliest 1 month. So for a change instead of looking at the bad, I chose the positive. We had time. I would be more prepared because I caught it early. Most newly diagnosed patient have to go directly on insulin. We were lucky...NO we were blessed. I never saw it coming so soon.
Yesterday was 5 days from a month in the hospital. Hynlee's numbers had been high for the last few days. I called the blood sugar hotline like always. I leave her information. A few hours later a nurse calls me back...again like always. No alarm went off. But she makes the remark that in her opinion, it may be time to start insulin. But being just the nurse she couldn't make that call. She informs me that she would leave Hynlee's file on the doctor's desk. Her last words to me, " No call back is a good sign. Enjoy your weekend."
A couple hours had passed. Hynlee and I had ran errands in town. We had just made it home. I hadn't even had time to tell Derick what the nurse had said yet. I no longer sit down beside him, and my phone rings. Pediatric Endocrine. Huge alarm goes off!
My fear was right. My baby girl is now on insulin three times per day. Every day. No matter her numbers. The fog had lifted. It was all very real. No preparation. The control I thought I had, gone. This is my baby we are talking about. Three year olds are supposed to be playing, running, dressing up. Not taking three shots per day. Not including at least eight finger sticks per day. And not including her two allergy shots every other day. That's a lot of poking and sticking on an adult, especially a tee tiny 29 lbs baby girl.
I know I'm not supposed to ask, why? But I found myself in tears saying those words. If that is His plan for our family to face this battle, why couldn't it be me. All I can say or hope for at this point is that this will be part of her testimony. This is where He has brought her, and He will see her/ us through this.
I can't help but be beyond thankful for her love, her passion for fireman and paramedics and doctorin' as she calls it. I honestly believe the Lord gave her this love for them at such a young age to make this easier. Hynlee is the child who goes to sleep EVERY SINGLE night watching firetrucks as she calls it. It's actually the 70's show Emergency 51. Everyone always needs doctorin'. She has her kit and we aren't talking plastic play stuff. She has HER kit. This is cool to her. The allergy shots are nothing to her. Just a part of our normal routine. However our first insulin shot wasn't so fun. She cried. She was scared and confused. But this morning she took it like a pro once again.
I said all that to say this, when you go to bed at night, remember us. When you are watching your healthy kids play, be thankful. When you tuck your babies in at night, hug them a little tighter. Your alarm may be moments away from going off.
She has DIABETES. She now takes insulin THREE times EVERY day. It's NOT going away. There is NO cure.
We have been told by every doctor, nurse, everyone that we caught this VERY early. My pediatrician said, "Mindy, be proud. You were on this. You didn't let the signs go unnoticed." Everyone estimated that she was still honeymooning, which means her body is still producing enough insulin to bring it down on her on. They said she could stay like this from 3-6 months, possibly even a year. At the earliest 1 month. So for a change instead of looking at the bad, I chose the positive. We had time. I would be more prepared because I caught it early. Most newly diagnosed patient have to go directly on insulin. We were lucky...NO we were blessed. I never saw it coming so soon.
Yesterday was 5 days from a month in the hospital. Hynlee's numbers had been high for the last few days. I called the blood sugar hotline like always. I leave her information. A few hours later a nurse calls me back...again like always. No alarm went off. But she makes the remark that in her opinion, it may be time to start insulin. But being just the nurse she couldn't make that call. She informs me that she would leave Hynlee's file on the doctor's desk. Her last words to me, " No call back is a good sign. Enjoy your weekend."
A couple hours had passed. Hynlee and I had ran errands in town. We had just made it home. I hadn't even had time to tell Derick what the nurse had said yet. I no longer sit down beside him, and my phone rings. Pediatric Endocrine. Huge alarm goes off!
My fear was right. My baby girl is now on insulin three times per day. Every day. No matter her numbers. The fog had lifted. It was all very real. No preparation. The control I thought I had, gone. This is my baby we are talking about. Three year olds are supposed to be playing, running, dressing up. Not taking three shots per day. Not including at least eight finger sticks per day. And not including her two allergy shots every other day. That's a lot of poking and sticking on an adult, especially a tee tiny 29 lbs baby girl.
I know I'm not supposed to ask, why? But I found myself in tears saying those words. If that is His plan for our family to face this battle, why couldn't it be me. All I can say or hope for at this point is that this will be part of her testimony. This is where He has brought her, and He will see her/ us through this.
I can't help but be beyond thankful for her love, her passion for fireman and paramedics and doctorin' as she calls it. I honestly believe the Lord gave her this love for them at such a young age to make this easier. Hynlee is the child who goes to sleep EVERY SINGLE night watching firetrucks as she calls it. It's actually the 70's show Emergency 51. Everyone always needs doctorin'. She has her kit and we aren't talking plastic play stuff. She has HER kit. This is cool to her. The allergy shots are nothing to her. Just a part of our normal routine. However our first insulin shot wasn't so fun. She cried. She was scared and confused. But this morning she took it like a pro once again.
I said all that to say this, when you go to bed at night, remember us. When you are watching your healthy kids play, be thankful. When you tuck your babies in at night, hug them a little tighter. Your alarm may be moments away from going off.
No comments:
Post a Comment